Because I Said So

Review :
Because I Said So is a hodgepodge, messed up mix of gimmicks that have worked reasonably well in past romantic comedies.

If you don't see every turn of this plot coming a mile away, then you've never watched a romantic comedy in your life.

And while films of this genre can exist in their own sort of fairy tale land, Because I Said So seems to take place in a make believe world of dating and relationships all of its own - a world I have no interest in ever visiting again.

The Story

Diane Keaton stars as Daphne Wilder, the mother of three beautiful daughters and owner of a cake shop (or some kind of bakery/catering biz). Two of her daughters are married (Piper Perabo, Lauren Graham) but her youngest, Milly (Mandy Moore), has a pattern of always falling for men who wind up hurting her. Even though Milly's only in her early 20s, this lack of a serious relationship drives Daphne crazy. Because Daphne is perhaps the most obnoxious, meddling mom on the planet, she takes matters into her own hands and looks for Mr Right the wrong way by placing a wanted ad for potential suitors.

Of course, 99% of the guys who show up in response to Daphne's detailed, lengthy request for a mate for her daughter are unattractive, hopeless nerds. But wait for it...you know it's coming...one of the applicants is a dreamboat with a nice bank account and amazing job. Yes, just the type you always hear about responding to want ads placed by desperate mothers - if you live in an alternate universe or in the land of rom-coms. And, of course, he's the one mom wants for her daughter and, you guessed it, there's another guy (also handsome and available) who decides he's the one Milly should really be

The Acting

Gabriel Macht and Tom Everett Scott play the men who compete for Moore's affection and both actors do a decent job of making these guys likeable. Macht and Scott are actually much more enjoyable to watch than the females in the cast. Perabo and Graham weren't given much to work with and the result is they're no more than window dressing. Moore never comes across as comfortable in the role of a young woman with men trouble while Keaton's character is so over-the-top, so nasty at times, that there's no way an audience can connect with her.

The Bottom Line

One of the most frustrating things about Because I Said So is that you’d never hear people in real life talking the way these characters do to each other. The conversations and arguments in this film could only come from a script.

Because I Said So is loaded with impossible set-ups that don't pay off in laughs. Scene after scene is just pointless and, in some cases, annoying to watch. One of Moore's character's flaws is a horsey laugh (see Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality). Diane Keaton does her best Buster Keaton imitation as she inexplicabily can't walk a straight line (she’s apparently the only one affected by an invisible wind machine in the film). The dog (a scene-stealing furball) perks up at the mention of sexual behavior between humans, which is more than a little creepy. And speaking of creepy, the mom confesses to her youngest that she's never had an orgasm and wants a demonstration of what one's like (a la Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally). Did I mention there's a running gag about rearranging furniture? I guess we should by thankful the kitchen sink was firmly attached to the surrounding countertop or it would have been tossed in with the rest of the gags.

One of my pet peeves about films is when, outside of those in the musical genre where it's entirely appropriate, characters break out in song. When the mother and her brood harmonize for their guests once in Because I Said So, I was willing to let that slip because maybe, just maybe, this family would do that on a rare occasion or when alcohol is involved. When it happened yet again, the movie entered the land of the ridiculous and never returned.

You know a movie's hit bottom when a dog can be credited with delivering the best lines and also gets the most laughs. Filled with characters you'd thankfully only find in a bad romantic comedy, Because I Said So is an unbelievable, unenjoyable mess.